010 KARL BEUCHNER

 On today’s episode we have a special guest . Karl Beuchner. Vocalist for the hardcore/heavy metal band Earth Crisis, Path of Resistance, Freya and Apocalypse Tribe to name a few of his musical credits. He recently released a children’s fantasy novel called The Unraveling: The counsel of crows. Co written by Keith Ward and Jeremy Meuller. He joins us for a little movie talk and good old fashion shootin the shit.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:02

So you were looking for something to listen to and you ended up here. What's up? My name is Ethan, and I'm the host of the show. Over the past 25 years, I've had a wild group of people walk through my tattoo shop and tell me some of the craziest stories you would never hear unless you were sitting in that chair. I've invited a few of these maniacs to join me and talk about everything, anything, and nothing. Whether it's about UFOs, aliens, food, conspiracies, or whatever, you're sure to be entertained and probably get a laugh out of it. Or you're gonna think we're a bunch of nutjobs and never come back again. Either way, you're here with us now, so sit back, relax, take cruise control, and enjoy the ride. Welcome to the Tat and Chat Podcast. What's up? Welcome to the Tat and Chat Podcast. I'm with Renee today. What's up, Renee?

SPEAKER_05 0:56

What's happening at?

SPEAKER_03 0:57

And uh Josh is sick, he's not here. So uh Josh. We've got um we gotta fill in over there, Freddie. Okay, Freddie Cougar. Um we actually got a caller. We got a caller on the line.

SPEAKER_05 1:11

We have a caller on line one.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Caller on line one. So our our caller is uh it's a caller. It's a caller, it's a special guest, and uh he's uh been a long time friend of mine. He's uh an awesome musician. He's he's he sings for a band called Earth Crisis. He's uh he's a skateboarder. Some might call him a Viking. Some might call him multi-talented. He is multi-talented, and he's really good looking too.

SPEAKER_05 1:41

Is he? Yeah, good thing he's not here.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

Yeah, it's it's a pretty good thing. But he's also um uh a writer. He wrote a book. He wrote a book with a couple buddies, and it's called The Unraveling, The Council of the Crows, I think that's what it is. Oh, and uh his name is Carl Beekner, and uh Carl, are you there?

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Uh I am here, sir.

SPEAKER_03 2:04

Did I get out did I get all that right?

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Uh yeah, sounds right. Except the part about being handsome.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

I thought that was the best part. He's so nice, isn't he? Well, you know, we need those lies in our life.

SPEAKER_05 2:19

Positivity.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

I mean, Julia tells me I'm attractive all the time. I mean, I I look in the mirror and I'm like, man, maybe maybe she's got bad eyes, but I'm not gonna tell her that. I don't want her to uh I don't want her to get glasses, I want her to keep thinking that.

SPEAKER_05 2:33

Keep thinking.

SPEAKER_03 2:34

Yes. So you wrote a book and it's it's it's a it's a dystopian sci-fi on Amazon, right?

SPEAKER_02 2:42

That that's where we ranked. We we debuted at number one and we held our own for I don't know, uh a handful, a large handful of weeks.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

That's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_05 2:53

That's impressive.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

That's it was I mean, it was a surprise.

SPEAKER_03 2:57

That's on Amazon. I mean that's that's huge. Everybody has Amazon, right? Maybe worldwide. So what's the uh what's the book what's the company that's that released it for you?

SPEAKER_02 3:08

They're called Third World Publishing. And they're from uh they're from DC. And they've been very supportive. And they're gonna release the next book. There's three in the series. We're waiting now on double the artwork. So that's pretty cool. We had an illustrator named Zool Zulifar Rockman handle all the uh the designs and the artwork and the cover. And people like the drawings a lot. So the the publisher Mr. DeVito said we're gonna have double in the next one. So we're waiting on artwork to get finished, and when it does when it's complete, the next book will be out.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

That's pretty sweet, dude. That's pretty awesome. Yeah. So you uh so um so is it it's not a graphic novel or it is a graphic novel?

SPEAKER_02 3:57

It is a novel novel. Yep, so with illustration.

SPEAKER_03 4:00

Just some illustration in it. Okay, cool. Um, so you so what is it so what's it about?

SPEAKER_05 4:05

Yeah, tell us the synopsis.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

Okay. Well, we we may be the first science fiction book to not have any people in it.

SPEAKER_06 4:16

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

In our world, yeah, in our world, there are no more humans, there are no cyborgs that look like people, there are no clones, there is nothing, you know, there are no trace elements of humanity in any way. Only animals have survived the cataclysm.

SPEAKER_03 4:33

So this is this is in our world though, right? This is like it was a human world, the cataclysm, and now animals have evolved and the story goes on.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

Exactly. Yes. And the animals, there there's two types of uh, you know, I don't want to give too much away, but I'll just give you a little taste of it. So the the animals that are at the at the center of our story, they are the descendants of creatures that were experimented on in um in a mercenary's laboratory.

SPEAKER_05 5:06

So you know they're non-real creatures, so they they're they're traditional.

SPEAKER_02 5:13

They're they're they're sentient animals, you know, they're mammals, they're not robots or anything like that. But they were taught by these mercenaries how to continue to carry on a war, let's say, after an electromagnetic pulse weapon fried out all circuitry. So crows would be the predator drones that would do surveillance, or um groundhogs would uncover mines, things like that. You know, things that animals would have an a natural ability for. Yeah. Yeah, spies, connaissance, all that kind of stuff. So, I mean, it I think it's a lot of fun, and the animals have inherited these warlike tendencies that we had, and they're kind of programmed to continue to replicate that. So these wars are raging on, and they're trying to figure out why they're even at war. So it's it's kind of a way to unpack a lot of weird things that humans have been doing to each other for eons through a different lens.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

And when you say these uh these people experimented on them, they were humans that experimented on them before they destroyed themselves.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

Before humans went yeah, before humans went extinct.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

Sweet. And what would you compare it to? What what what what's this like what's what what what was what genre or story like? Is it like Lord of the Rings? Is it like The Matrix? Like, you know, what what would you compare it to? I I mean I for fans of.

SPEAKER_02 6:39

Yeah, I would say if if someone's a fan of Watership Gown or The Secret of Nim, or they liked certain aspects of Lord of the Rings. Awesome stories, you know, they would yeah, they would probably find things in our in our books that they will like and that they will connect with.

SPEAKER_05 6:57

How many writers are on this theme with you?

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Um I have two esteemed colleagues with me on this project, and we are all equal founding fathers of the work. So my friend Keith is an English teacher, and he was uh an agent and stand-up comedian. He did tours of the US, and you know, I don't I mean you could name different guys on Netflix, and he had performed with them before he became an English teacher.

SPEAKER_03 7:27

I didn't realize he was a stand-up comedian, that's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:31

So he's funny.

SPEAKER_02 7:33

He's a blast, and he it brings a lot, he brings a lot of humor to the story. And my friend Jeremy um played bass and he wrote poetry and short stories, and he's kind of the guy that that brought Keith and I together on it, and we we built this world and we developed it, and we just went back, you know, one layer after another and you know and built it deeper and wider until it became what it is now.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

Awesome, dude.

SPEAKER_05 8:03

It does sound awesome. It's it's it's really trio.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

It's it's well, I mean, these guys are you know, it's like you know, people will say, Well, how did three guys write a book? And it's the same way three guys or five guys or six guys write a record. You know, we all bring like different skill sets to the task and compliment one another. And if you look, you know, a lot of TV shows and a lot of movies are written by three to four people. Yes, so it's not it's not super uncommon, you know, but for books, it's a little different, sure.

SPEAKER_03 8:37

Yeah, and uh you got um I mean a lot of TV shows, there's different directors for each episode. I'm sure they do rewrites and tweak stories and stuff. I mean, there's a lot of hands involved in that. I mean, some of the greatest stories are probably told that way.

SPEAKER_05 8:51

I love teamwork.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

Yeah, yeah, and and it and it does. It makes dream work. I mean, these are just you know short stories that were living in a very crude form in my notebooks for years, and Jeremy saw some value in them and Keith did. And like I said, we we took those those very, very primitive stories and turned them into something that is now three books and a comic, actually.

SPEAKER_03 9:15

That's one they're phones. Oh, I didn't realize there's a comic too, so that's pretty awesome. Is the comic out yet or no?

SPEAKER_02 9:21

No, no, the comics on the shelf. The books are coming first, but that's fine. You know, uh this like I said, you know, we we've worked on this for over a decade at a super slow pace. You know, it's it was a fun thing, and it started to really take shape. And once the first one was complete, there was there was some interest, and that's that's how we got the publishing deal.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

Well, Carl, this is uh this is all really exciting. I've been we've we've been friends for over 20 years, been in bands for years and written tons of music and tons of stuff together. And I know this is this is something that's really special to you and really cool, and we're pretty stoked, man. I'm pretty stoked about it. It's it's cool to see it when I go to Amazon and see your book there, The Unraveling.

SPEAKER_05 10:02

I'm a bookworm. I'm gonna have to uh get that for sure. Now, before I do, I'd like to know um which one of the character within your story you would say is your ultimate favorite one.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

Well, I mean, they're all you know, they're kind of like pets or children. I mean, you love them all.

SPEAKER_05 10:23

You have no, you have to be an asshole right now and pick your favorite.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

Well, I'll I'll pick my my favorite hero and my favorite villain. That's because I'm yeah, I feel like there's like parts of me in them. I like it. You know, and one yeah, one one of the characters is a bard. So he's uh he's you know, he sings the stories of heroes, and he's out on tour with performing with with two of his friends, and you know, kind of like how in the in the Middle Ages uh bards would be out and they would sing the stories of um acts of bravery or heroism in war. You know, he is not necessarily particularly heroic or brave, but he's he's celebrating these these great victories. He's a storyteller, yeah, and he's and he's learning, you know, from those from those tales how to how to enhance his own his own sense of purpose and his own sense of identity and um and when he's called upon to be a crow, I think you know he he steps forward. Whether he can really handle it or not, he tries, he goes for it. So I think he's fun. Yeah, he's fun, and uh the villain is uh a crow, and she has a severe hatred for humanity because she has witnessed and experienced so much cruelty at the hands of the vivisectionists in the laboratory that were experimenting on her and the other creatures. And yeah, so I think she's an interesting character, I think she's fun, and she offers a con a lot of very unique angles as to what humanity actually is and how it functions um from the perspective of the animals. You know, they see their natural world being destroyed, they see themselves being hunted for spore, or um their natural habitat is being leveled for some human project. And one of the one of the critiques is you know, ants will build cities or uh wolf will form a pack, but they don't destroy other species in the process. You know, they kill they kill to eat, but they're not out there hunting for sport, and they're not out there destroying other creatures' habitats purposely, whereas humans will do that. So I think some of the critiques are are are very warranted.

SPEAKER_03 12:58

And uh these obviously come from some that some of these ideas come from things that you believe in some of your you know things have you experienced. You're a vegan, obviously.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Right, you know, you're yeah, I'm a lifelong environmentalist, lifelong animal rights activist.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

Yeah, band your banned earth crisis, I mean, obviously dives into a lot of that. And uh it's it's it really is a huge part of who you are, and uh you get to be creative with it, telling a story and kind of put those those those ideas into this uh this fictional story.

SPEAKER_05 13:31

Well, it's nice when fictional stories kind of still give an important message and and I guess a voice to the planet.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

Like Yeah, for real.

SPEAKER_05 13:43

I like that at all. I like that. It's pretty cool. You sold it to me, bud. I I'm gonna buy it. Go buy that book, everyone.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

Well, I already have it. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 13:53

I don't.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

But you know, it's kind it's kind of funny. That this is the first, this is the first time we've had anybody on over the phone. And I feel like we're doing like a I think I'm on the radio, I'm listening to the radio right now. I'm like, wow, we're doing like a radio show right now. Like he's talking and I'm listening and he's telling me this information, and it's like I'm just I'm learning something new. That that's what they do on the radio right now.

SPEAKER_05 14:12

All right.

SPEAKER_03 14:13

We're bros.

SPEAKER_05 14:15

We've got we're natural. It's this is so organic. Yeah, it's just like your book.

SPEAKER_03 14:20

You know, if if we had Josh here, Josh, Josh is the maniacal comedian who just drops some crazy shit all the time. So you're stuck with me and Renee today. But you know, we wanted to move forward. I wanted to have you on. I think it's really cool. But um, everybody should check it out and give a little plug, Carl.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

Okay, so um the book came out on Earth Day. It's by Keith Ward, Jeremy Mueller, and Carl Beachner. It's called The Unraveling, the Council of Crows. And it's spelled C-O-U-N-S-E-L, like Council as a you know, you're there um receiving wisdom and guidance rather than like a council, like an organization. So that's how it's spelled. Check it out. Um as I started to mention earlier, you know, I I want to make sure any opportunity I get to thank Ingrid Newkirk from PETA, to thank um Andy from Fallout Boy, or any of the other people that um have been supportive of the book and leading new people towards it. We're uh just endless gratitude for that. And thank you guys for having me on, too.

SPEAKER_03 15:32

You're welcome, dude.

SPEAKER_05 15:33

I think this is great. Everybody, go check out the unraveling, the council of the crows, right?

SPEAKER_03 15:38

Yeah, that's it. Yep. Sounds amazing. Check it out. So, Carl, I've been telling you go ahead. No, you go ahead. Well, I was just gonna say, I was I was gonna say that, you know, I'm I'm stoked that you came on the podcast. I've been telling you that we're we're doing this for a little bit with me and my friends. And uh it's a kind of a variety, it's a variety comedy podcast. So usually we're in here just being assholes, telling jokes and just saying stupid shit and making fun of each other. And uh a couple times we've gotten down the rabbit hole of some topics and got kind of serious. I'm like, man, that's that episode was kind of serious. And uh, so it's so it's always like like doing this is really cool because it's uh I I don't know, man. I've never I've never interviewed anybody over the phone before. You not you and I talk all the time, but I know you're my first. You're my first Carl.

SPEAKER_05 16:22

You're my first carl.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

How does that feel? Well, he's so happy about it. He's really happy. That's a very special. So so what I what I want what I wanted to do was um I want to include you for more of the show up about what kind of how we do things here. Like, yes, you know, for example, I be part of it. I bring some notes to the table and I say stuff like, um, does anybody ever do role playing?

SPEAKER_05 16:50

You know, he will say stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

That's my random question. I was thinking, well, you know, sometimes you know, my wife she'll make dinner. Okay, and you know, when I um you know, when I eat it, it doesn't taste that good. So I I like to do um I like to do a little thing that I call my role play. My role playing is ratatouille. And I and I go over to her and I grab her by her hair and I say, put some more spices in there. Change the way this and I just I just I just move around for a little bit and then she puts new spices. I taste it and taste good. It's like that's that's ratatouille.

SPEAKER_05 17:26

That's my that's your ratatouille.

SPEAKER_03 17:28

That's my role playing.

SPEAKER_05 17:29

Is that that's fucked up, but at the same time, it's nice.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

It was a joke. It was that was a joke. I I wrote that joke. I thought that was a good joke.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Well, let me let me say this. Let me say this. Let me say this in regards to role-playing and private.

SPEAKER_04 17:43

Oh, you are so nice to your wife.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

I am nice to my wife. Oh my wife. Listen. Listen, here's the thing. I, for the first time ever, I'm a big fan of the of the of the TV show The Big Big Bang Theory. Like, I felt like that's the first time you ever saw, like, you know, people that are like die hard for gaming or science fiction or fantasy, you know, represented in any way that kind of showed how much fun we have. So I I just always love that show. But anyways, Jeremy and Keith and I uh had a table for the book in Syracuse at a um at a fest. It was called Retro Game Con. And we saw all all kinds of people like in like manga costumes and stuff from you know the world of animation and gaming. Nice. And yeah, and it was beautiful. It was beautiful. I'm like, everybody here is fun. That's like step one, realization one. Anybody that's in here right now in costume is probably a blast. They're probably somebody that if you wound up sitting next to them on a train or a or a flight, yeah, you would get along, you would like leave friends. I don't know. So that was awesome. So that's my only role-playing story.

SPEAKER_03 19:01

But so what what'd you say that was? It wasn't it was like it was like a Comic Con? What was it?

SPEAKER_02 19:05

The uh It was Syracuse Retro Game Con, and it was awesome. And we did we've done some other in-stores. We went to the Golden Bee, we did um, we were actually at Barnes and Nobles, we went to Buffalo and did Burning Books. So hopefully we're gonna do more of those in-stores this year. Because they were a blast.

SPEAKER_03 19:27

So it's kind of like a it's like a smaller, smaller Comic-Con, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:31

I I mean, I don't know. I've never that's the these are the only ones I've ever been to, and they've all been really fun. Yeah, we I've oh and we met and we and we're meeting some interesting characters too. We met a guy who who does the voice of Skeletor.

SPEAKER_05 19:46

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

And some of the G.I. Joe characters. So that was cool too. Like we're meeting some some wild characters when we're out.

SPEAKER_03 19:53

Renee, did you ever watch He-Man or anything like that?

SPEAKER_02 19:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

Did you like it?

SPEAKER_05 19:57

Loved it. I'm a big um old anime fan.

SPEAKER_03 20:03

Have you seen any of the trailers for the new uh Masters of the Universe? No, have you seen any, Carl?

SPEAKER_02 20:08

Well, I I have not. I'm gonna keep my hopes low though for it. It looks pretty cool. A lot of times I hope so.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

I will hopefully there's a couple weird things here and there that I saw that I was like, eh. But like um Skeletor is uh played by um Jared Leto. Oh, and um he was actually very adamant about making sure he's like they were like they were gonna modify his face or do all this weird stuff, have him have a helmet. He's like, Nope, he has to be a skull. So he's literally Jared Letell, like um, I guess vouched for Skeletor, and so he's got like the Skeletor head, the hood, and he looks like Skeletor. I mean, wow, it it looks cool. And the dude who's playing um Adam and you know He-Man. Yeah, um, dude, he's he looks like He-Man.

SPEAKER_05 20:48

That's awesome. I can't wait.

SPEAKER_03 20:50

So, you know, Jared Letell, I don't I don't know if I'm a huge fan, or I don't really know. I don't, you know, I'll I I don't dislike him or follow him necessarily, but uh he uh he vouched for Skeletor, so skelet the Skeletor in this new He-Man movie is gonna look like Skeletor.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

I can't wait. Was was he in Tron Ares?

SPEAKER_03 21:08

He's the guy from Tron Ares, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Oh yeah, he was great. And he was in is it Morvius?

SPEAKER_03 21:12

He played Morvius, he played the Joker and um Oh yeah, no, he's phenomenal.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

Yeah, he Yeah, he'll do a great job with Skeletor, I have faith.

SPEAKER_03 21:20

Yeah, he's he's he's uh No, I want to watch a trailer. He's good. So today we were gonna talk about horror movies.

SPEAKER_05 21:28

Renee, what's your favorite horror movie? Well, I kind of want to hear his. My favorite horror movie is the skeleton key. Well, the skeleton key. Have you heard that one, Carl?

SPEAKER_02 21:37

Uh no, I'll have to check it out. I would say let's let's break it into categories, you know, like slasher, supernatural, you know, sound footage. Like 'cause you couldn't really just pick one ultimate, you know, it would be too hard.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

Yeah, there's a ton of awesome movies. You've never seen the skeleton key? It's such a good movie. Who who's in the skeleton key?

SPEAKER_05 21:58

Um Kate Hudson.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

Yeah, Kate Hudson.

SPEAKER_05 22:01

Yes. She's the main character in that movie. It's really good. It's this um this lady that moves in New Orleans, and she ends up picking up a job as I want to say, yeah. Like a like a maid in the city.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

Yeah, living maid, living maid age or whatever.

SPEAKER_05 22:20

And she um starts to believe in the local folklore. Gets trapped into it, and wow.

SPEAKER_03 22:29

I guess it's kind of supernatural because it's got like voodoo in it and stuff, right?

SPEAKER_05 22:32

I I don't think it's supernatural at all. I find that shit very real, but I mean people believe in different things, right?

SPEAKER_03 22:39

Without telling you the story, it's actually pretty good. And when you watch it and you get to the end, you're like, oh shit. It's a good one, Carl. I'm surprised you haven't watched it.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

It's really Yeah, I would I would say for me, like, if I had to pick it just a straight up favorite, I would say the shining. I mean, I feel like the rewatchability of that is you know, a hundred percent um just the pacing of it and the vibe and like how it slowly unfolds. I mean, I I don't know. The acting in it is is superb as well.

SPEAKER_05 23:08

Yeah, Jack Nicholson is unbeatable, but I mean The Shining? The Shining Red ROM.

SPEAKER_03 23:15

Yeah, The Shining is good, but I mean I always go to uh I have I have two. I have like one that's really scary, and I have one that I just love, and obviously I know you love this too, Carl, but it's Evil Dead. I love Yeah I love Evil Dead. I think that is an awesome that's an awesome, it's it's it's uh you know what my son, little Ethan, told me. Um, did you know that after the first Evil Dead was made, the reason why the second one was made had a lot to do with Stephen King, right?

SPEAKER_04 23:43

Yeah, like Stephen King watched.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

I didn't know it.

SPEAKER_04 23:46

And he gave them like a good uh he gave he like really liked uh he really liked people like one. He thought it was a really good movie. And then when they made the second one, I think he was like I don't know, he did it. He was involved in some somehow process. Also, it's deeply upsetting me that you guys are saying what's your favorite horror movie and not what's your favorite scary movie. I'm just letting you know.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

Okay, so Ethan Ethan made a point. What's your favorite scary movie versus what's your favorite horror movie? Can Carl, can you hear Ethan when he's talking or no?

SPEAKER_02 24:16

I could not hear him, but I I would I would choose this. I would say for comed for comedic horror, I would choose Evil Dead Army of Darkness.

SPEAKER_03 24:25

Did you ever watch Dale and Tucker vs. the evil? No. No. You never watched it? Oh my god. Carl, you gotta watch Dale and Tucker vs. the evil.

SPEAKER_05 24:33

I'm taking note right now.

SPEAKER_03 24:35

It's it's about a couple rednecks going to the woods. They're totally scared of getting like masquered and all the shit, and all these teens go up there, and uh, they're just like freaking out, like this one dude's a chicken shit. And uh it's got Adam Tuduk Tudukus, what's his name? The guy from iRobot, Adam's name. It's good enough. Oh god, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 24:53

Dude, I suck at names. You know I can't help.

SPEAKER_03 24:55

It's the guy from iRobot. He plays the he's he's got he plays the voice, he was in dodgeball, he plays the pirate.

SPEAKER_05 25:00

I yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:02

Well, Adam Tuduk, I think his name is something like that. Anyway, he's him and this other guy are these rednecks, they go up there, they bought this piece of property, they saved all their lives to get there, and these like these like college kids, these high school kids are going up there, they're on camping, and like, look at these rednecks, watch out for them. But they're they're they're both kind of weirded out by each other, and then all these kids end up just dying and stuff accidentally. And uh you gotta watch it, dude. You gotta watch it. I'm not doing it justice by explaining it because I don't want to say too much, but like you gotta watch it. Carl, you'll get a kick out of it. Like, it would totally fall into like some of the stuff that we've talked about, what we're working on. And uh you gotta you gotta you gotta look into it. It's called Dale and Tucker vs. the evil, and I'm pretty sure it's free on like Amazon or something like that.

SPEAKER_05 25:42

Well, check it out.

SPEAKER_03 25:43

But Ethan said, what'd you say, scary movie? Scary movie versus what's your favorite scary movie? Scary movie versus horror.

SPEAKER_05 25:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

So what's your favorite scary movie versus a horror movie?

SPEAKER_02 25:56

I'll I'll I'll break it into four. For supernatural, for supernatural horror again, I would choose the shining. For comedy horror, I choose um Evil Dead Army Darkness. I I love The Exorcist. I mean, I think that's pretty scary, but I also saw that as a kid, so it has kind of a special you know vibe for me because of the age that I was when I saw it, and it was so outrageous. Yeah, we put the exorcist on that list. And I and I gotta say, I definitely kept up with all these you know, Annabelle, conjuring, all those movies they tie together. Now I think those call it the conjuring.

SPEAKER_05 26:39

Is the conjuring isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 26:42

They the conjuring. Whatever they're actually called, it's the conjuring are exceptionally well done.

SPEAKER_03 26:47

Yeah, I remember some of the first conjuring at the theater and that was that was at. What about you, Renee? What which what are your you your this was your topic?

SPEAKER_05 26:55

What are you what are your I I I'm obsessed with scary movies and things that are frightening, so the list goes on. I am obsessed with jigsaw and saw. The whole concept of that sucker in the backseat petrifies me to death. Like I have to check in the backseat of my car every time at night. I'm so like things that carry on the daily are very like that. Sucker, I could very petrified of them. From from Saw? From Saw, yeah, Jigsaw. That freaking pig face that is waiting in the backseat of the cars. Oh, yeah, that just kills me every time.

SPEAKER_03 27:35

Yeah, I think my my when it comes to being scary, mine's always alien stuff.

SPEAKER_05 27:40

Alien stuff don't scare me, dude.

SPEAKER_03 27:42

Like when I saw like the fourth kind. I'm good. Like when I saw Fire in the Sky, I'm good. I'm like, I'm like the idea that because I honestly I think aliens and demons are like like hand in hand. I almost think that they're like the ones that they might be the same thing, you know what I mean? So to me, like the fact that these the creatures come in, they do all their stuff on you is is weird. But one um I've talked about this before, but the hills have eyes. Remember that the the release? Did you ever see that, Carl?

SPEAKER_02 28:12

Yes, yes, that's something.

SPEAKER_03 28:14

The newer one when the not it's it's it's it's the remake, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

They remade it. Yeah, they remade it.

SPEAKER_03 28:20

The remake when like the I the when the father goes out into the they they drag him out in that like cross and he's burning and it's like and the girl's pregnant in the in the in the camper, and those dudes are coming, like all that stuff, dude. When I watched that, I remember I was like, I can't believe I'm watching this shit. Like it was so it was so like because you know it's real.

SPEAKER_05 28:37

That's what's scary about it. You know, there are some inbred morons like that in the West Virginia, Kentucky area. I'm telling you about those hills.

SPEAKER_02 28:49

I don't think they're just there. I think they're everywhere.

SPEAKER_05 28:51

They're here too, but I'm just trying to not be too local, focal. Yeah, we don't we don't want they're not here. We don't want to be attacked. They're not here.

SPEAKER_03 29:00

Jeez.

SPEAKER_02 29:01

Right.

SPEAKER_03 29:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

Right. Well, yeah, and for for for science fiction horror, I would definitely put you know, alien. Uh the predator. Oh, the predators are awesome too. Yeah, that's more like science fiction action. I wouldn't even count the predators horror though.

SPEAKER_03 29:20

No, that's not doing that horror. I uh I don't, you know, I I mean, like I said, uh one of my one of my.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

By the way, that was a very good uh predator call. That was that was convincing.

SPEAKER_03 29:32

Was it really? So I was like, what I thought so. Well, when I was sitting here looking over her, I didn't know what she was doing. She had her hands out and she was doing this weird thing to the mic and she was making this noise. I'm like, what is wrong with Renee right now? She's weird ass shit.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

But one more for Supernatural, and then uh and then we'll be right back.

SPEAKER_05 29:50

Well, that's a good show in itself. Supernatural. The show, supernatural. Oh my gosh. It is good. Who isn't obsessed with Salmon Dean? I never saw the show. Are you kidding me right now? There's like 15 seasons.

SPEAKER_03 30:02

You have gotta I do tattoos. It's it's got like that little cross or that little like um pentagram with like a subverse around it. Like, what's the deal with that? It's like it protects them or something like that.

SPEAKER_05 30:12

They're anti-demon sigil. Is it is it like a birthmark or is it a tattoo? It's a tattoo to get done on their chest.

SPEAKER_03 30:18

Yeah, well I've done that tattoo quite a few times. Dude, I'd take it today. I did it recently. It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

And I like Ethan, I like the nun too. I don't know if you saw any of those. I thought those were awesome.

SPEAKER_03 30:29

Oh my gosh. No, I gotta get caught up on my hormones.

SPEAKER_05 30:34

That freaking nun is so scary, dude. I swear to god, I see her in my basement. I am telling you what, she's wah. Yes. Oh my gosh. That whole tiptoe by the window. I can't take it.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

Yeah, those are well done. For supernatural. For slasher, though, what's Renee, what's your top slasher, Ethan? What's your top slasher movie? Ah I mean probably, you know, like what you were starting to get into.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

Yeah, I love Halloween for Slasher. I think Halloween is I just I love Ethan, little Ethan's always watching that. He's always dressing up like Michael Myers. And when we watch it, all the Halloween's. We watch the newer ones, and they're just they're awesome. Like the what was that? What was that one that we watched, Ethan, where there he was walking, he walked in that one living room, that girl's looking out the window. And he is that the newest one? Is that the newest one? The Halloween ends, the dude's in the garage with the motorcycle. Isn't it the one? The 2018, yeah, 2018. Halloween, dude. That it's great. I just I just love it. I think I think I really enjoy Michael Myers and the way he just goes around. He's just a dude going around killing. He's kind of he's kind of supernatural, but like I mean, Scream's good too. It's great, it's more modern. And I and I do like the scream. We watch those ones too, but Halloween, I'm gonna go with Halloween. Yeah, I like Freddie. Freddy's good. He's that is is Freddie considered a slasher? I don't know. It's gotta be. Carl, is Freddie considered a slasher?

SPEAKER_02 32:01

Uh, that's hard. That's a hard one to I pin down. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 32:06

Yeah, Freddie Krueger's.

SPEAKER_04 32:09

Every time I see all the single look slashers, Freddie's one of the slashers.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

Yeah, they are great.

SPEAKER_04 32:13

Yeah, Freddie's terrifier.

SPEAKER_02 32:14

That would have that I mean that that would have to be like yeah, terrifier would be a slasher for sure.

SPEAKER_05 32:20

I never watched any of the terrifiers. What?

unknown 32:22

No.

SPEAKER_05 32:22

How do you Okay, so you really need to get up on your game.

SPEAKER_03 32:26

Well, I didn't want I didn't watch the terrifier movies because they they they look so bad to me that I just didn't care.

SPEAKER_05 32:31

Oh, he's it's very gory.

SPEAKER_03 32:32

Yeah, I was like, eh, you know, I didn't really know. And do you like gore? Yeah, I do. I mean, that when I when I made when I made Severance Mountain, I wanted it to be like messed up and you know, like have it have these real situations. I like I pre I prefer real situations. Like, like, like I like Freddie Cougar. I think Freddie Cougar stuff's awesome. Well, see, the problem is when I was a kid and I watched Freddie Cougar, I was scared. Um when the first one came out, and some lady, I was standing at my buddy's house and she his mom pulled me aside. She's like, listen, that's all fake. And she explained every single scene to me. Like, okay, now that's a dummy. Now see how that he's ripping through that thing, and now this one it's a different dummy. And you know what I mean? It's like they're all props. And I'm like, oh, and she's like, see how the lighting's different? And she started explaining lighting to me. So from that point on, it like ruined every movie from here on out. Because every time I see a movie, I'm like, Well, the lighting's coming from that side. Oh, doesn't light look weird there? Oh, that's a prop. Oh, they had five props for that. Now that you CGI, and it's it's just in my opinion, it's not as good. It looks all fake and plasticky. But like, like when they like Freddie Cougar, when they like had him stretching through the walls, dude.

SPEAKER_05 33:31

When he came out, like out of that freaking waterbed, dude, I swear he's something else.

SPEAKER_03 33:37

But but I but there's something, and I guess little Ethan said Freddie Cougar is a slasher, he's got knives for fingers, he slashes people. So, but you know, I really think I enjoy the Scream series. Um they're cool. It's like it's like up to the There's a new one.

SPEAKER_02 33:53

There's a new one on the way, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:54

I think I kinda yeah, it comes out later this month, I guess. And I think that one might be a little more supernatural. I don't know because the the way it the advertising's going. I don't know. I I I think I hope not. I think that Math Matthew Lillard dude's coming back. Oh. So you know who he is? He's the guy who died in the first one with the TV on his face. So who knows? I I don't know, I don't know where it's going. I don't know. But I I what I like about it was I like the slasherness. I like I like it like the beginning, the first woman, Drew Barrymore, oh, yeah, gets killed and she's hanging there. Like, what a way to start off a movie. It's killing kill Drew Barrymore and hang her in a tree in front of her parents. Beautiful. I mean, that was that was pretty intense. That's I think that's kind of what every time I see that opening scene, I'm like, wow, this is this is intense. That's an intense slasher.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

It is. She'll uh she'll always be gertie from E.T. to me.

SPEAKER_03 34:45

Yeah, I love E.T. Is E.T. considered a horror movie? No. I'll tell you what, when I was a kid and watched it, and you were afraid? No, the only time I was freaked out was when they found E.T. down by that little ravine. And he's all white, like he has like the water been like soaking him up and stuff, and he's like dying and stuff. Like, that freaked me out. That made me that made me feel weird.

SPEAKER_05 35:06

He's all dying.

SPEAKER_03 35:07

You know what I'm talking about, Carl?

SPEAKER_02 35:09

Yeah, I remember. Isn't that part freaking out? It's that and it was yeah, it was tough. Yeah, it was tough. And he well, we we won't give it away because um I guarantee you there's a lot of people that still haven't seen it, especially younger guys that you know just were never introduced to it. But I mean, I I would say for that, you know, if we were gonna switch over and talk about science fiction, I would say the best movies about aliens, if I was to give my big four, they would be Cocoon, Um, Explorers, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and E.T. Those are all awesome stories about aliens. And they're not like your typical alien invasion type story either.

SPEAKER_05 35:50

That's why I like Max and Me. Is that the translation? Max and me. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

I haven't seen that one. I haven't seen that.

SPEAKER_03 35:59

Yeah, yeah, I think it is a little weird, little alien with bubbly eyes, right? I never saw it. I for some reason. Is it isn't that considered like a really bad movie? Or no? I don't know. For some reason, I think that's on like one of the worst movies. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 36:14

Maybe I was eight years old when I watched that shit. Okay, you gotta give me credit.

SPEAKER_03 36:18

There's a lot of bad movies that I watched when I was young. I my parents turned on HBO and the other. And I thought they were good. My parents turned on HBO and set me in front of it. Okay, watch this. That's why that's how I learned about Super Fuzz. Carl, did you ever see Superfuz?

SPEAKER_02 36:31

No, I've heard about it though. It's the same guys that did they did the zombie movie, right?

SPEAKER_03 36:36

I don't know, but it was just this weird, it's just guy, he was like Italian, like he didn't really speak very good English, like like not like our like worse than our Schwarzenegger did, and he was like playing like a cop, and it was just I all I remember is I I he he talked weird and I didn't know what was up with him and stuff. And like I was a little kid and I'm just watching this guy. If he saw the he had these superpowers, and if he saw the he was like in a he was giving a warrant, he was he was on a search warrant out in the middle of like a swamp to some native guy, and they did nuclear testing in the sky above him and stuff, and he he gained these superpowers, he could run really fast and do all this stuff, but every time he saw the color red, he would lose his powers. Oh, dude, yeah, it's like it's it's it is. It's a it's a it's a it's an amazingly horrible movie. Yeah, I think I got a poster somewhere. I don't have it around here, but I have it someplace.

SPEAKER_05 37:25

Like here I am looking around.

SPEAKER_03 37:26

Yeah, dude. Uh that movie's awesome. You should watch Superfies. And oh, but you said sci-fi. What about Ice Pirates? Spaceball. Well, Spaceballs. I have never seen Space Balls.

SPEAKER_05 37:38

What?

SPEAKER_03 37:38

You never saw Space Balls?

SPEAKER_05 37:40

Oh my gosh. No, you need the Prince Valley.

SPEAKER_03 37:42

How have you not seen Space Balls?

SPEAKER_02 37:45

I don't know. I've seen all his other movies, and I just You're not into his style? I just know his other movies are great, and I heard his uh his interview on the radio maybe a month ago, and the guy's like I think he's like a hundred or close to it.

SPEAKER_04 38:01

He's making a new one right now. He's not doing a hundred. Yeah, he is ninety nine.

SPEAKER_03 38:07

Ethan just told little Ethan just told me that recently.

SPEAKER_04 38:10

I think he like just revealed that too. Like, I think he like a reveal of like, hey, I'm 99 definitely.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

Here's why I didn't see space balls. I just I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 38:21

I didn't do videos like space balls. I quote that movie like you know the day here's the thing.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

I haven't watched space balls, I haven't watched Metal Eclipse and a couple other things because to me it's like metal is just not something that can be clowned, and Star Wars is not something that can be clowned. Like they're so well done, and it's so I don't know, crucial. It almost doesn't deserve it. It's like there's other things that wait deserve a that deserve to they're they're wide open targets that really deserve to be well done, but like not that. I don't know. I just I don't see it.

SPEAKER_03 38:54

Did you see that? The reason why he's on the radio is they made a they're making a part two of Spaceballs.

SPEAKER_02 39:00

Uh yeah, yeah. I but again, you know, it's like oh my god, I can't believe you haven't watched spaceballs.

SPEAKER_05 39:05

So unimpressed he doesn't want to. He's like, fuck that.

SPEAKER_02 39:09

They're well, I mean, I mean, it's like, dude, like go after Doctor Who or something that honestly deserves a roundhouse kick. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 39:18

Yeah, the twelfth Doctor.

SPEAKER_02 39:20

Yeah, the Doctor Who go after that.

SPEAKER_03 39:23

Little you can start watching. There's a couple that are good, but a lot of it's weird, and like the earlier ones are even weirder. And I'm it's like it's like there are things I like about it, but like it just I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 39:32

I like the TARDIS. I mean, and that's about it.

SPEAKER_03 39:36

And they got the screwdriver, the magic screwdriver does all sorts of weird stuff.

SPEAKER_05 39:40

Yeah, I know, right?

SPEAKER_02 39:41

The theme song is great. I'll give him that.

SPEAKER_03 39:43

Yes. You know who who spearheaded the whole new um Spaceballs, though, was uh was um uh the the the um Josh Gadd. He played the snowman from Frozen.

SPEAKER_06 39:57

Oh, that's cool.

SPEAKER_03 39:58

Like he's the one he begged basically. I guess um I think he begged Mel Brooks to do it. Like he kept saying, I got we should do space balls too, blah, blah, blah. So I don't know how it's gonna be, but I'm assuming he's in it, and I'm assuming he's probably gonna play Barf, which is John Candy's character. Dude, I can't believe I can't believe you haven't watched baseball just for the sheer fact that John Candy's in it, like Mel Brooks is in it, like Rick Moranis is in it, like Billy Pullman. Like, dude, like, yeah, it's it's like just so friggin' good.

SPEAKER_05 40:26

It's it's worth a watch.

SPEAKER_03 40:27

I can't I can't even watch it. You would you love it?

SPEAKER_05 40:30

Not a lot that beats the movies from the 80s. Have you watched The Lost Boys?

SPEAKER_02 40:34

Well, yeah, I saw Lost Boys. Okay, that was I'm just more of a supernatural horror fan than like a reality-based horror fan. Like, well, there's a killer and he's on a rampage. I mean, I I get it, but I'm just looking for something a little different, you know? Yeah, like to me, to me, like the spirit world and ghosts and demons and all that stuff, that's like way more blood chilling than like a guy trying to kill you. If a guy's trying to kill you, I mean you could pick something up and hit him over the head or definitely don't run upstairs.

SPEAKER_05 41:06

Don't go upstairs, bitch. Don't get in the shower and don't run for the garage. And even though if you try, your car is not gonna start. Like I know all the rules, but the spirit world, I agree with you. Nothing, it's that's what's that's why the skeleton key is one of my favorite.

SPEAKER_03 41:23

Because I will put that on the list. Yeah, you gotta check it out.

SPEAKER_05 41:27

It's voodoo, it's voodoo, and it's all about believing, and it's like, oh my gosh, it's possession.

SPEAKER_03 41:33

It's good, it's it's it's a it's a good one. It's I don't want to tell you about it because the because the twist is is awesome in it and stuff. And when you watch it, you're gonna be like, whoa, like yes. It it's you'll you'll you'll enjoy that one, Carl. Maybe you won't, maybe you won't. Yeah, you gotta tell me what you think. But I think you're gonna dig it.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

No, I I pro I pro I probably will, and that's the thing, you know, it's like you know, my son is getting older and he's watching all kinds of like crazy, you know, found footage horror movies and stuff from Japan and stuff from Korea that's in subtitles, and like he's so deep into it. You guys should interview him because he's up on all that stuff. You know, he's up on like all all the new stuff and like you know, things that are coming from completely different directions. Um but like I said, you know Yeah. Yeah, it's just for me, supernatural, way more compelling, way more captivating. But I mean, there's there are there's plenty of great slasher movies, and I loved all those new Halloweens. I thought they were awesome.

SPEAKER_05 42:30

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 42:32

Yeah, there's a there's a lot of good stuff. I can't wait to see the new scream. Like Ethan's got me y'all hooked up in that, but we just watched It and It Too, and we're getting ready to watch Welcome to Dairy, and I heard I I I I kind of forgot how good it was, the new it and uh we watched the original it not too long ago, then we watched It, the re the new version, and then we watched It Too, chapter two. Man, those movies are those movies are good.

SPEAKER_05 42:56

They are good.

SPEAKER_03 42:56

Those are really good movies. Did you like those, Carl?

SPEAKER_02 43:00

Oh yeah, but I mean I think that when Stephen King's at his best, it's like with a story like Misery, where there's you know, there's a certain amount of Pet Cemetery of Well, Pat Cemetery is awesome, yes. But but misery, I mean that particularly that one, it to me that's a masterpiece of suspense. Oh I think that's where the t that's where the terror comes from in a movie like that. It's like this guy's trapped. Yes, he can't get away. Yep. It's like it's it's very cerebral.

SPEAKER_03 43:31

Is that the one who's in bed more than she keeps on poisoning him or something like that?

SPEAKER_05 43:34

Where she breaks his feet or she keeps him like hostage in a cabin in the woods.

SPEAKER_03 43:39

I know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_05 43:40

Yeah, as further as the movie goes on, the cycle worse she gets.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

So you know Yeah, it's it's great.

SPEAKER_03 43:47

It it's it's crazy, man. But you know, if you uh if you get involved with that, I bet you that chick had to go to jail if she got busted, right? Which which wouldn't which leads me which leads me to this. We we I want we gotta wrap it up here pretty quick. We're about to where we need to be. And uh I had this, I had these questions.

SPEAKER_02 44:04

One more, one more. Ethan. Ethan, let me get one more. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 44:09

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

Gary O Gary Oldman, Wanoa Ryder, Dracula.

SPEAKER_05 44:14

Oh my gosh. Oh my.

SPEAKER_02 44:17

That is that is a masterpiece.

SPEAKER_05 44:19

That is the love of my life.

SPEAKER_03 44:21

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Me and Ethan have been watching movies at night. We've been watching some old horror movies. That movie is delicious. We just watched uh on Friday the 13th, we watched um Jason Takes Manhattan. Oh. And it's so corny. Like we just want we wanted to watch it because someone said, Oh, it's a good one. So we wanted to watch a Friday the 13th on Friday the 13th. Yes. So we've been trying to catch up.

SPEAKER_02 44:42

Isn't there isn't there a new Friday the 13th on the way?

SPEAKER_04 44:46

Is there new Friday the 13th coming? So for over like 10 years, um the people who made Jason didn't know, like, like we didn't know there was a rights issue, and they could decide on who owned Jason and stuff. And so again, for like 10 years, there was like a game and stuff, and the servers had to be shut down because again, the rights issues. There was like no Jason merch, or like, well, there was merch, but there were no like movies, nothing like that, nothing planned. And very recently, we have finally gotten like the rights in order. And so now they did like a little short film. Uh, it's on YouTube. I think it's called Sweet Revenge. It's kind of like uh if anything, they they changed his mask design now. Uh show an image of it.

SPEAKER_05 45:29

So something is coming out soon.

SPEAKER_04 45:31

Yeah, they are doing this stuff. It's called the Jason Universe.

SPEAKER_03 45:35

Jason Universe. The Jason Universe. So pull it up, baby. He knows all that stuff.

SPEAKER_04 45:40

He's our pro.

SPEAKER_03 45:42

I'll send you, I'll send you a text of this this picture from from Jason. He he knows a lot about it.

SPEAKER_04 45:46

Yeah, this is this is the new ass design.

SPEAKER_03 45:53

Take a screenshot of that and send it to me, Ethan.

SPEAKER_04 45:55

Yep. I want to see it.

SPEAKER_03 45:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 45:57

So they changed it a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 45:59

They did, but it's not too much. But yeah, so it's called the Jason Universe. Is that what he said? Jason Universe. But you should short films. But you should look, you should look into that.

SPEAKER_04 46:09

But they did a Fortnite collab with the New Mask. They released a Funko Pop.

SPEAKER_03 46:13

They did a Fortnite collab with the New Mask. They released the Funko Pop with it. So there is something happening with Jason in Friday the 13th.

SPEAKER_02 46:20

Yeah, and years and years ago, Freya played this show in uh central Massachusetts called Rock and Shock. And you know, they had a bunch of crazy metal bands, and then next door in another part of the building, they had you know peak actors that have been in those movies.

SPEAKER_03 46:38

I was there, I I played that with you guys, I think. Didn't I play that?

SPEAKER_02 46:42

Okay. You probably did. And you probably remember I got the first um camp crystal lake counselor shirt I think that was ever made. I think they had 'em. Yeah. So I got that's where I got that. I remember it was black and the graphic was blue. It was awesome.

SPEAKER_03 47:01

I think that was when we're we we dro we were in the middle of nowhere, this weird building, I think, and I think like like it felt like it was in the outskirts of town. Oh god, I can't remember that. And I it was it you and me, Bulldog, and like Corey, I think.

SPEAKER_02 47:16

Probably. It was probably and I think I played guitar somewhere Yeah, and it might have been in I don't know. That was 20 years ago. It's hard to remember, but it was a great show, and it was cool seeing some of the people from those movies, and that was my big trophy of the weekend, getting that shirt. God knows what happened to it.

SPEAKER_03 47:34

Heck yeah, it's too bad. I'm gonna frame that we should we should try to wrap things up here. And this is and this is uh this is this and this is I have I have a I have one final question that's like a two-parter, okay? So since we're talking about this death and all these slashes. Interrupt, that's what we do here. I don't I don't let anybody talk. This is the nicest I've ever been.

SPEAKER_05 47:55

I know. You've been so nice.

SPEAKER_03 47:57

If Josh is here, usually like I just fucking cut everybody off and I'm swearing, I'm telling jokes. And Josh actually, like, he's he's actually really fucking funny.

SPEAKER_05 48:05

You didn't even swear once. I feel like I'm the French rude one.

SPEAKER_03 48:08

It's part of my new thing. I'm I don't want to swear as much. I feel like I swear too much. So check it out. If you were on death row, what would be your last meal?

SPEAKER_05 48:18

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 48:19

You know, the last meal you ever get to eat. For me? Yeah, for you, for anybody. It's good. This goes out to you and Renee and me, and I'm not gonna ask my son because that's a weird question to ask him.

SPEAKER_02 48:33

I'd probably ask for something that was like excessively spicy.

SPEAKER_03 48:38

A cheeseburger.

SPEAKER_02 48:39

So I I want a cheeseburger. No, no, no. No, I would I would want something. I would like want a bottle of Tabasco sauce so I could like try and spit it in the executioner's eye. Something like that on my way out.

SPEAKER_03 48:53

This isn't for revenge, this isn't for hate.

SPEAKER_05 48:55

It's your for your soul.

SPEAKER_03 48:56

Yeah, it's your last meal that your body's gonna digest, like all your favorite things. Like you're you're like, you're so like violent, Carl.

SPEAKER_05 49:04

Jeez. I know.

SPEAKER_03 49:06

I'm scared.

SPEAKER_05 49:07

I mean, what do you want to eat the most?

SPEAKER_03 49:09

Carl, this is a side of you I don't know. Who is this man, Carl? Who is he?

SPEAKER_05 49:16

Where did he come from? He's gonna spit it in some sh- Oh, okay. That's good.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

Yes, I would. That's that I know. That's that's what I that's being my request.

SPEAKER_03 49:25

I love it. I want some fucking hot sauce so I can sip it in a fucking executioner's face. I'm sitting there thinking, like, oh my god, I wouldn't waste my recipe on spinning it.

SPEAKER_02 49:36

I mean, that's what pepper spray is, right?

SPEAKER_03 49:38

It's kind of not. It's concentrated uh kind of.

SPEAKER_02 49:43

It's probably a version of something like that, you know? Like cayenne peppers or whatever they are.

SPEAKER_03 49:49

I like I like how we just make things up. It's kind of like it's it's you know spitting hot sauce. No, it's it's like it's like it's it's probably it's probably that's probably what it is. Pepper spray, right? It's just it's like it's seriously.

SPEAKER_02 50:00

I mean, it might be.

SPEAKER_03 50:02

I don't know, it might it could be. I'm not sure. I mean, I think it would suck.

SPEAKER_05 50:05

Try it at home.

SPEAKER_03 50:06

Take some cayenne pepper and just Did I tell you my pepper spray story before? I might as well tell this now that we're talking about it real quick. I know I gotta keep, I know I want to end this conversation, but so this one time I was hanging out with this kid's. Did I ever tell this story before?

SPEAKER_05 50:19

No.

SPEAKER_03 50:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 50:20

But this is what I love about this show we never stop.

SPEAKER_03 50:24

Yeah, it's oh we gotta keep it, we gotta keep it down. Today I'm gonna cut short. Fuck, okay, I'm I got another story to tell. That's hilarious. So check it out. So I was hanging out with this kid's this kid's apartment. Like he had this little like one-room apartment thing he was living in, and he had some pepper spray, and he was fucking around saying he was gonna spray it. Well, back then we were all hanging out in his apartment and stuff. We were smoking pot. I used to smoke pot back then. That was a long time ago. And uh, so the kid leaves and um he goes downstairs for a little bit, and I take the pepper spray and I spray the whole door handle. I'm talking, it was caked on like the door handle looked red. So when he came back in, um, I think I think I had a cigarette. I think I smoked back then. So I had a cigarette and um he said, Hey, can I have a drag of that? I'm like, Yeah, sure. He grabs it, takes a drag, gives it back to me, and I take the cigarette and I look at it, no, and it was all red, and uh so he kept smoking it or whatever, and I'm like, I could feel it like tingling on my lips a little bit. I was like, oh shit. And so he didn't, I I thought he was gonna rub his eyes or whatever, and all this shit was gonna go down, and nothing ever happened. So I was like, whatever. So I said, I'm out of here, I'm leaving. So I leave and uh I see him the next day. He's like, you motherfucker. This is before cell phones, this is a long time ago. I mean, I haven't smoked a cigarette in 25, 30 years. It's been a long time. So uh, so um, so uh he's like, you motherfucker. I'm like, what? And he's like, he's like, did you spray that pepper spray? And I'm like, uh, yeah, I did. He's like, he's like, where'd you fucking spray it? I said, on the door handle. And he's like, I fucking went to the bathroom and took a piss after that. Oh, yeah. And he said that his junk was burning. He's like, he's like, my dick was burning. He's like, he's like, and he was supposed to go meet some girls, but he couldn't because his shit was burning so bad. He said, I had to take a shower and said cold water hit my nuts the whole goddamn time. Dipping it in milk. That was even better than I thought. I I was just gonna spray it. I thought you're gonna rub your eye, no big deal. Instead, you I'm like, no, you literally touched your dick. I mean, I caked it on so thick, it was like icing on a donut. It was it was so that's horrible.

SPEAKER_05 52:21

And so so how were you able to breathe? Because um, I had a pepper spray bump and I did it one time for fun. I went and they all flew back in my I couldn't breathe for like hours. It was just a little test.

SPEAKER_03 52:34

Yeah, dude. I don't I don't I don't know. It was kickback. I can feel it on my lips, but I don't know. It was a long time ago. So back to last meal. So he wants pep, he wants, he wants to create pepper spray um uh spit to spit for retaliatory purposes.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 52:51

What's your what's your uh what's your what would be your last meal, Renee?

SPEAKER_05 52:55

My last meal, I go Greek on you guys, and I go for some souvlaki with some straight feta cheese and tons of rice and potatoes and that stuff, yeah. I like marinated souvlaki. That's my last meal.

SPEAKER_03 53:13

You know what mine is? Mine's real simple. Cheeseburger. No, not cheeseburger. Cheese pizza. I said cheeseburger to Carl because he's vegan. I just thought cheeseburger. Something with meat, a hot dog.

SPEAKER_05 53:23

Um I would have lettuce with hot sauce.

SPEAKER_03 53:27

I would have four eggs, over easy, cooked in butter with salt and pepper, and and crispy bacon, and four pieces of toast. Exactly that. Are you serious? Oh my god, that'd be my last meal. I love that's my favorite meal. Like that's my go-to meal. If I'm like sick, if I'm like hungry and I start like a snack, like I'm like, uh, I'll I'll throw up a couple fried eggs, a couple pieces of toast. Dude, over easy eggs are the most atrocious thing in the world.

SPEAKER_05 53:52

Oh my god. You like that right yolk?

SPEAKER_03 53:56

I can drink that.

SPEAKER_05 53:56

Oh, gross. Can you really? Ew, I can see you slurp your egg right there.

SPEAKER_03 54:02

That's why I made the egg video. That's disgusting. That was see my new egg video? It's just three eggs spinning in a circle. Yeah, but I made it like uh it. Like the three the three lights that spin. I was spinning the eggs in the uh in the thing.

SPEAKER_05 54:16

I didn't realize you were gonna slurp them down like a cannibal.

SPEAKER_04 54:19

Okay, I have a really crazy final meal story. What's your final meal? What's your final meal example? This isn't my final meal, but this is a story I heard about the final meals. There was this one guy, I forgot his name, you can do research on it. Um so there was this one final meal that was made by this guy, and it was like this super huge thing. He's like, I want five pizzas, I want like all this extravagant shit. I want to, I want like the uh, I don't know, like uh pep pepperoni and pineapples and stuff, and and a fish. I don't know. He wanted like all this crazy stuff for his final meal, like a ton of food. Then when he got all of it, he said, Oh, I I don't want any, I'm not hungry. And then in that specific state, they stopped doing the final meal thing because of that one guy, and they were like, they ruined it for everyone. That's funny.

SPEAKER_02 55:09

The guards should have just eaten it.

SPEAKER_03 55:11

They probably did. They probably did. In in the super fuzz, he had a final meal because they were gonna put him in prison and all this stuff, and like they're I think they're gonna execute him. I don't know what the hell's going on, but they gave him a final meal and he kept eating pork and beans. Like, he'd just get plates of pork and beans. Like, it's like, okay, you're done? He's like, he's like, Want any more? He's like, Yeah, I want more pork and beans. So they just kept bringing him plates and plates and plates and plates because one of his superpowers was he could fart a lot and he filled up a balloon and it kind of pulled him out of the water and stuff. So that somehow brought us back to brought us back to Super Fuzz. Super Fuzz, 1981. I don't know the guy's name. Farts into a balloon, saves himself from the things. Carl, it was cool having ya, man. This is the first time I did a phone call, a phone call conversation.

SPEAKER_02 55:57

And uh I actually didn't know how to deal with that with Josh. Is that what it's called? Skeleton Key?

SPEAKER_05 56:02

Yes, the skeleton key. Skeleton Key.

SPEAKER_02 56:05

All right. I'm gonna I'm gonna if I can find that tonight, I'll watch it tonight.

SPEAKER_03 56:09

And yours is the Unraveling, Carl Biekner, Earth Crisis, Freya, Apocalypse Trial, Viking. Council of the Crows. Council of Crows. Thank you. The Unraveling. It's out on Amazon. You can buy it. Um, is it is it out digitally? Can you can you get a uh book on tape right now?

SPEAKER_05 56:27

So if I buy it, will you sign it for me? I will sign it, but we're friends now.

SPEAKER_02 56:32

We are, we are. But you know what? You don't even have to read it. You can listen to it because the audio version came out in July.

SPEAKER_03 56:40

Sweet. Where do you where do you where do you get that?

SPEAKER_02 56:43

Well, I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 56:45

Probably off of Amazon, audio book. Yes, Amazon.

SPEAKER_02 56:48

Yeah, if you Google it, it'll come up. Sweet. And his name's escaping me, but the guy who read it has read some Star Wars books too.

SPEAKER_03 56:55

How cool is that? That's awesome.

SPEAKER_05 56:57

Well, it was nice to hear about your story and your awesome book that I'm gonna have to pick up.

SPEAKER_03 57:02

You're gonna like it. Thank you for joining us. Awesome. Carl Beaker, my good friend. Thank you. Peace. This was the Tat and Chat Podcast, and uh, we'll see you next Tuesday.